Recently, I was browsing through the blogs I had written in CY ’25 to pick one to read out at the launch party of my website and its associated eBook.
I wanted something close to my heart—one with a takeaway that I still use in my life. I eventually zeroed in on When Love Became the Best Therapy — My First Lesson in Mental Well-being.
As I reread it, I was reminded of another incident from around the same time.
I was 11 years old when my mother had a nervous breakdown that required hospitalisation. She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and, through an effective combination of medication, therapy, and Papa’s unflinching support, she went on to live a full and happy life.
We were living in Delhi then, and everyone in our neighbourhood knew about it. Both my parents were very open about what had happened and how they intended to deal with it going forward. They saw no reason to hide this sensitive issue of mental illness.
Unfortunately, this openness also armed my enemies—or rather, frenemies—with ammunition. And we all know how cruel children can be.
We used to have a three-tier Insult Index:
- Pagal (Nutcase) – An occasional offence, something everyone was guilty of.
- Crack – Significantly worse, usually reserved for repeat offenders, implying something was flawed in your head.
- Mental – The worst imaginable insult, suggesting you were a certified madcap.
Truth be told, I’ve used these myself—especially during those childhood fights, particularly when I was losing!
One day, during a fight that I was actually winning, a friend called my mother “Mental” and, by extension, labelled me a “Crack.” I lost my cool. A big showdown followed, but the matter wasn’t settled—and I knew it would come up again.
When I got home, I told my mother. She was surprisingly dismissive. She said it was a fact and couldn’t understand why I was so perturbed by it.
Still unsettled, I waited for Papa to return from work and recounted the incident to him. His response was very different.
He told me I needed to stop reacting to insults—because reacting gives your enemy power.
Then he added advice that I still follow today:
We have only one pass at life. Why waste it being bothered by someone else’s judgement? Life is too precious to be spent on petty and irrelevant issues.
