This May, Ravi and I completed 35 years of marriage—and 37 years of friendship.

A simple calculation led to an interesting insight: for nearly 60% of our lives, we have been best friends, and for over half our existence, we have been married.

This got me thinking about the impact of this close and enduring partnership. When I look back at the 26-year-old me and compare her with the 61-year-old me today, I see a far more evolved version. A significant part of that transformation, I believe, comes from having Ravi as my partner. The rest comes from life itself—much of it experienced alongside him.

I’ve always enjoyed celebrating milestones. They offer a moment to pause, reflect, and notice things that may not have been obvious at the time. As I look back, I don’t just see a timeline—I see phases that shaped our marriage and quietly strengthened its foundation.

Early Years – Figuring Each Other Out

Even though I had known Ravi for two years before we got married, there were many adjustments waiting for us.

I chose to get married despite strong opposition from my parents. This also meant moving to Bangalore, where I continued working at Wipro, navigating a new environment alongside a new relationship.

Like most newly married couples, this phase was defined by the gap between expectations and reality, and small frictions were common.

Over time, however, we began to understand each other’s rhythms. What changed slowly—but meaningfully—was not just our compatibility, but our ability to appreciate each other for who we truly were.

Building Life Together

With just six months between us, our career aspirations progressed in parallel. This meant constant juggling—balancing home, work, and personal ambitions.

What I remember most from this phase is that we were not always perfectly aligned, but we remained aligned in one important way—we were always moving forward.

Parenting Years and Mid-Life Adjustments

Welcoming Cheekoo into our lives marked one of the most special phases for us.

This period also brought significant professional growth. I started EI Design, which I led for two decades, while Ravi’s career accelerated rapidly into leadership roles.

Our priorities shifted—from “us” to “family.” And yet, we learnt to make space for both individual growth and shared responsibilities.

This phase also saw a reversal of roles, as we began caring for our parents. My mother moved in with us after my father passed away, and Ravi’s parents spent winters with us each year.

One thing that stayed constant was our love for travel. Every January, we would plan six vacations for the year—and remarkably, we stayed true to this tradition through all these years.

Current Phase

As I’ve grown older, I’ve become calmer. What my mother once described as being a “rebel without a cause” has, over time, found direction and purpose. Today, I find joy in a slower, more content phase of life.

While Cheekoo now works in Mumbai, our bond remains strong—we meet often and continue to travel together as a family.

This phase is defined by gratitude—for the life we’ve built, the experiences we’ve shared, and the companionship that has remained steady through it all.

Bird’s Eye View of the Last 35 Years

When I look back at our journey over the last 35 years, a few things stand out.

These years were a period of evolution for both of us—personally and professionally. We both pursued demanding careers while doing justice to our individual and family commitments. We had our differences, but we were always clear on how we would move forward.

A couple of conscious investments helped us along the way.

Travel was a huge stress buster, but more importantly, it gave us the space to invest in each other and in Cheekoo.

This was not all. Every week, Ravi and I would go on a “date.” The only rule was simple—leave all stress and challenges aside, and just enjoy each other’s company and look ahead.

Ravi and I have been fortunate—to have found each other, to have built a life filled with shared passions, individual space, and above all, a deep and enduring friendship.

What made it work over these 35 years was not the absence of change, but our willingness to keep adapting without losing sight of what really mattered.